Talentless
by TheOneAndOnly1993
Summary: Distraught over the fact that her talent is lost on human ears, Zoe Trent embarks on a journey to discover a new talent through her friends' own gifts. Will she become a dancer like Vinnie or Penny? Or perhaps an artist like Minka? There's a world of possibilities, but will she ever find the one that gives her purpose?
1. Three Minutes to Showtime

**'Talentless'**

* * *

"Minka! Minka Mark?" Russell called, glancing around the outdoor stage for any sign of the mischievous little spider monkey. The hedgehog wiped his brow of perspiration, swallowing the urge to scream. "Oh, where is that little..." He muttered obscenities under his breath, taking another glance at the wall-mounted clock for the umpteenth time: 6:57. Three minutes left. "MINKA!" Russell screamed over the chattering pets that filled backstage.

"Yeah?" a blissfully innocent voice piped up from behind.

Russell whipped his head around and found the elusive Minka Mark perched atop an authentic tree prop right behind him. "How long have you been sitting there, Minka?" The uptight hedgehog asked through gritted teeth, struggling to keep a leveled tone.

The primate tapped her chin for a spell, then happily announced, "Two minutes and thirty-five point four _seconds! _Why?"

Russell felt the vein in his head about to burst. "Did you hang the banner? _Like I_ _asked?_"

Minka waved her hand in reassurance. "Aw, calm down, Rusty! Of course I hung the banner! I mean, why would you ask me too if you thought I _couldn't?_"

The small rodent felt as though a huge weight was lifted from his chest. "And are _you_ ready?" he asked with a relieved sigh.

Minka leaped from her perch in the tree and landed beside a canvas painting with a sheet draped over it. "Roger-dodger!"

Russell gladly checked off a box on his list, taking a moment to gaze upon the monkey's handiwork. Hanging above the stage was a wide banner that read in bold lettering: **'Littlest Pet Shop Talent Show'. **

As the chattering of the pets gradually subsided, getting ready for their own performances, Russell went around the room to clarify with the other pets on their preparation. "Vinnie, how's that dance number coming along?"

The gecko ran his fingers through slick-combed hair. "Yeah, man. I only tripped and fell _twice _last time!"

"We're always proud of you, Vincent," Russell replied with another 'check' off his clipboard. "What about you, Pepper?"

"Oh-ho, I'm gonna knock it outta the park tonight!" Pepper emphasized her eagerness with a fist-pump in the air.

"Very good. And what are you going to do should anyone throw a tomato?"

The skunk whipped her tail with a mischievous smile. "Spray in their face! That'd oughta make 'em laugh!" Russell only needed to give her a stern look, forcing a sigh from Pepper. "I'll take it like an adult," then under her breath, _"Like a good noodle."_

Russell dutifully nodded. "Exactly. You're turning six years old next week, Pepper. It's time you start acting like it."

"Hey!" She snapped, "I ain't taking no guff from a four year old!"

"Sorry, what was that!?" Russell hollered, putting a hand up to his ear as if he was a senior. "My old ears aren't what they used to be!"

A silence was briefly lived as both pets burst into a timely laughter, the kind only two good friends would share. With that, Russell went his own separate way toward Sunil. "Okie-dokie. Mr. Nevla, are you ready?"

The mongoose gulped, then answered rather pathetically, "Most definitely." He squeezed his magic wand anxiously, glancing around back stage at the other pets.

"You'll be great, Sunil. Knock 'em dead!" He gave his friend a pat on the back, receiving a terrified nod in return.

As the churlish hedgehog left the mongoose to himself, the magician brought his wand closer to his face and muttered, "Why would Russell tell me to kill everybody? That makes me worry..."

"Penny Ling? You ready?"

The panda twirled her ribbon in recognition. "I was _born _ready!" she said with admirable confidence.

"Alright, and that just leaves me with-"

_"ZO-E~ Tre~e-ent!" _came a harmonious voice from behind the curtains.

"Zoe Trent," Russell finished with a monotone voice. He saw the gorgeous canine saunter toward him with pomp to her trot.

She was certainly living in her own little world.

Just as he was about to speak, Zoe spoke first. "Yes, Russell dear. Zoe is ready for:" She shot a paw into the air and said with watery eyes, "_The spotlight. _Oh, you have no _idea _how long I've been waiting for this Downtown City Pet Talent Show! I've been wanting to do this since I was just a pup."

She sighed dreamily, then whipped out her arm and wrapped it around Russell's shoulders. As he futilely tried to escape, Zoe was busy being her usual dramatic self. "The spotlights will all be on _me!_ Oh, it'll be a night to truly remember! And when my singing voice melts the judges like butter, I am _sure _to win the prize money and go off to be a worldwide superstar!"

"Wait, you're _singing?!_" Russell managed to choke out.

Zoe released the small hedgehog, then seductively whispered in his ear, _"I'll send you a postcard." _

Russell stood up, brushing dirt out of his coat. "_Right. _I just hope you know what you're doing, Zoe. I don't want to see you hurt yourself."

"Whatever do you mean, darling?" Zoe said with an innocent smile.

"You're singing?" he hinted, brow raised.

Zoe placed a paw over her chest. "Yes, I know the masses will go _wild _for my amazing singing talent. Yes, I know that there will always be critics. But honestly, Russell, I prepped myself for _any_ sort of criticism."

With a sigh, the hedgehog clicked his pen and mumbled, "I sure hope so." He placed an 'X' beside Zoe's name.

For the last time, he glanced up at the clock: 8:00. Showtime. Russell climbed up a soapbox and clapped his paws together. "Alright everyone! Can I have your attention?!"

The room full of animals obediently fell silent, then converged into one group that stood before the hedgehog. Even the pets that weren't regulars at the Littlest Pet Shop complied. There were many familiar faces participating in tonight's competition. Within the crowd, Russell could pick out Buttercream Sundae, Mary Francis, Scout Kerry, Madame Pom, and even Esteban 'Danger' Danger Danger decked out in a poncho and sombrero combo, just to name a few.

"Friends," Russell began, to which he promptly heard Pepper mutter, "Oh, great. He's_ speeching_ again."

Ignoring her, he continued with one of his infamously long-winded speeches. "We've all been preparing for this talent show since last winter. And I'm sure tonight that you'll all be great. But tonight, there can be only one winner! Only one pet will earn the completely shallow title of 'Most Talented Pet in Downtown City'! But just remember: We're all friends here. So how about we just have fun, and may the best pet win, right?"

An awkward silence. Russell lowered his arms and made a nervous chuckle. "Heh-heh, uh..."

"Boo! Get off the stage!"

"Vinnie!"

"Sorry."

With that, Mrs. Twombly was heard speaking to the whole of Downtown City from the stage. The show was about to start.


	2. Bickering

Vinnie sauntered by Mrs. Twombly with an accomplished grin spread across his face like margarine. "Alright everyone," she said with uncertainty, "that was Vinnie Terrio with his, uh, special little dance number."

The crowd gave a hilariously lackadaisical applause, aside from a woman decked out in 70's disco attire, who was whooping and clapping like she'd just witnessed the final act of a phenomenal play. "That a boy, Vinnie! Wipe the floor with these suckers!" she hollered.

Mrs. Twombly pursed her lips. "Hmm, yes." She turned her attention back to the audience, "Anyways, up next is Sugar Sprinkles, who'll be playing a song on her guitar called..." Twombly squinted her eyes and adjusted her glasses, then read her index card with uncertainty, "'Sprinkles on My Head'? Alright then, come on up, Sprinkles!"

Backstage, the laid-back tomcat ambled by the 'L.P.S.' pets with her guitar balanced on her back. Passing by them, she said, "If one of you guys win, that's _totally _cool with me. 'Kay?"

They all nodded; Russell stepped forward and said," Good luck, Sugar Sprinkles."

"Aw, thanks Russell." In her usual leisurely manner, Sugar Sprinkles set her guitar aside and pulled Russell into a big friendly hug. "Wow," she said, indifferently, "Your spikes are _really _painful." Sugar pulled away from the hug with little effort, completely apathetic towards the three quills embedded in her forearms.

"Uh, Sprinkles?"

"Don't worry about that, Russell. I think I'll keep 'em as a little memento. Ah," she sighed, "I love little mementos." Sugar Sprinkles left her hedgehog friend scratching his head, completely mystified over what had just transpired.

Russell snapped out of his trance and looked down at his clipboard. "Right, uh, Zoe? You'll be going onstage after Pepper."

The aforementioned pet did a single bow. "Yes, Russell darling. My instrument is primed and ready."

"And so is mine!" added Pepper, holding up her whoopie cushion with a cheeky laugh.

Russell cleared his throat and wrote a notice on his clipboard. "Indeed," he said with a moot dryness to his response.

Zoe lightly prodded her comedic friend with an elbow and whispered, "I think I'll go mingle with the other pets. Good luck, Pep."

As Zoe walked away, Pepper yelled to her, "I don't need any luck, Zoe! Not when I've got my lucky _rabbit's foot!_"

"YOU MURDERER!" Buttercream roared, tackling her to the ground.

With pomp in her trot, Zoe Trent approached the throng of pets hanging out backstage. She noticed many friendly and familiar faces there, from Shivers to Scout Kerry to Olive Shellstein. Taking in the picture as a whole, it was pretty remarkable that all these pets of varied backgrounds and attitudes are able to maintain a friendly harmony while in such a competitive environment.

"Hello, friends!" Zoe gushed.

"Zoe! Darling!" greeted Madame Pom, strutting towards her old rival. The two exchanged in a warm, friendly embrace. "It's been too long," Pom whispered, pulling away to adjust her dazzling gem necklace.

Zoe nodded in agreement, eyeing her friend's posh fur collar. "Indeed, it has. I'm surprised that you found the time to come here! But why aren't you performing?"

"Oh," she began, nonchalantly tousling her hair-curl, "I just, you know, had ze time to come here and hopefully catch ze next pet who'll make it into super-stardom."

Zoe laughed, "Oh, you didn't need to come all this way just for little old me!" The models were both immersed in a shrieking laughter that clearly got on the other pets' nerves, as indicated by their nasty glares.

"Tch," huffed Mary Francis. "What a bunch o' jerks."

"Estúpido engreído perras," Esteban sputtered, brushing a mottled wing over his English dictionary.

Madame Pom wiped a tear from her eye and sighed. "Oh, Zoe. It's so good to see you again. I'm sure you'll vin."

"And what about _us?_" the all-too-familiar irritated voice of Scout Kerry piped up behind her. The canine duo locked gazes with the death stares of nearly two-dozen other pets trying to become pet superstars. "I said," repeated Scout, angrier that before, "_What _about _us?_"

"Vhat about you?" Madame Pom shot back. "I'm sure you vill all be great!"

"That's not what I heard!" Olive called from the right-hand side of the group; on top of her sat a paint-splattered Minka Mark.

"Yeah, c'mon, Zoe!" said the painted primate, arms crossed and brows furrowed. "I think I've got a pretty good shot at winning! I mean, the front row audience _loved _my latest addition to the 'Splatter Series'!"

Minka's ride, Olive, glanced up at her passenger with an irked facade. "Oh, yeah?" She slowly, almost painstakingly slowly, lifted her left side until Minka pathetically slid off with a blank glaze in her eye. "The crowd adored my tuba sonnet!"

"Really?" asked Scout, "I just thought you were having digestive problems. Glad to see my worry was misplaced. Besides," she added, smugly, "I _instantly _took notice in the looks on the judges faces; they loved my claw-made paper chain silhouettes."

Vinnie popped out of nowhere and probed a suction-tipped finger into her furry chest. "They were probably being nice cuz they thought you were a _spy!_"

"We're still going _on _about this!?" shrieked Scout; her cold blue eyes flared wide with rage.

Mary Francis battered through the bickering gecko and cat, knocking them both on their feet. Scout gracefully landed on all fours whereas Vinnie ended up as a splattered green mess. "No, no, no!" he drilled. "You chumps got it all wrong! The crowd was practically gawkin' as they watched me down two dozen packs of 'Oscar Mayer'. I'm baggin' the gold tonight, ladies!"

"I'm surprised the audience didn't loose their _lunch _after witnessing that disgusting display," said a cross Penny Ling, garbed from head to toe in spring-green geisha attire.

"And I'm just as _shocked _that the crowd stayed awake during that _dreadful _performance!" Esteban sneered, hovering over the quarreling critters below. "I can assure you _all _that I wowed the personas below with my captivating tales of action and romance and handsome parrots named Esteban!" The animals that weren't arguing gave him a deadpanned stare. "Of course, I was a lot more interesting than the, uh, the 'panda' with an eating disorder, eh?"

"Oh, that's it!" Penny Ling roared. She revealed an orange ribbon hidden under one of her baggy sleeves and whipped it in the motley parrot's direction. The end of the scarf wrapped around Esteban's ankle, and before he could react, Penny brought him down to ground level. Hard.

The parrot struggled to peel himself off the floor, but Penny Ling sat on him before he could do so. "You're one to talk, featherbrain! I'm surprised the audience even knew what you were saying with such broken English!"

From there, it was an all-out brawl. Pets exchanged punches, claws, kicks, bites, grapples and insults as they debated over who is the most talented pet. Russell was the knight in shining armor who came charging in, holding his pencil like a sword.

"Guys!" he screamed, "This is in _no way _how we're supposed to be-HAVE!" Without warning, Russell legs were grabbed by Minka and she swung him around like a baseball bat, clocking Olive in the jaw.

On the other side of the rumble, Sunil was engaged in a slap-fight with Shahrukh. "Cheap parlor tricks!"

"Hack actor! I don't even like your smelly movies! NYAH!" Sunil landed a good jab on his doppelganger's cheek. Shahrukh stumbled, then retaliated quick as lightening with a powerful smack across the face.

Sunil fell to the ground, crying, caressing the glowering hand-print left on his cheek. "Did I tell you I play tennis is my downtime?" the superstar mongoose sneered.

Buttercream Sundae came hopping towards the duking pets with her usual joyous smile, completely apathetic to the chaos around her. "Wow, Sunil! Your cheek is all redy-dedy-fedy-bedy!" Her ears twisted and turned as she spoke in reiteration.

"Hey, you!" Shahrukh snapped, tapping Buttercream on the shoulder.

"Hmm?" Buttercream was never able to see the individual's face; a turquoise fist filled her vision in the blink of an eye. Buttercream fell to the ground, holding her eye and hopelessly trying to hold back tears.

"You big bully!" she cried.

"Ha! Stupid rabbit, get out of my way!" Just as Shahrukh was about to kick Buttercream, someone tapped the enraged mongoose on the shoulder. "What!?" he snapped.

A guitar was smashed over Shahrukh's swelled head before he could get an answer; Sugar Sprinkles calmly walked past the dazed, but still standing, movie star. "I'm _really _sorry about that. I don't normally act like this, but no one hurts Buttercream, m'kay? So let's _try _and keep that in mind for the near-future."

Shahrukh, struggling to remain conscious, wearily spoke through gritted teeth, "Ugh, you littlest pets are crazy!"

As the pets battled with one another, Zoe and Madame Pom were desperately trying to reclaim order. "Everyone! Please!" Zoe begged. "Maybe we should just stop for a minute and take a breather? We're all friends here!"

Madame Pom skittered around the mass of dueling pets, hollering over them, "Every-vun! Zis iz now vay a future pet superstar should behave! Can't we show some manners and a little dignity?" In response to the pomeranian's pleas, Pete the rat held a beaten and unconscious Mary Francis over his head and roared like a warlord before jumping back into the fray. "Apparently not," Pom said, dryly.

Zoe and Madame Pom met up on the other side of the rumble, in which the latter dog said to the other, "You're quite ze vordsmith, Zoe."

Zoe had 'guilt' practically written in her face. But before she could make amends and try and fix everything, Pepper's voice piped up from behind. "Hey, Zoe! You're on!"

The addressed canine looked back at her friend with worry. "But what about - ?"

"I'll take care of this," assured Pepper. "You just go out there and wow 'em. I've got the audience all warmed up for ya."

Zoe gave her friend a gratified-fueled hug, then asked, "Are you sure you can handle this? It's pretty ugly, and I don't think they'll listen to reason, not even their owners."

With a proud grin, Pepper said, "Zoe, you're forgetting one thing: I'm Pepper Clarke. I'm worse than anyone's owner."

"Except Pepper's owner!" Vinnie yelled from the brawl's inner-workings.

The skunk gritted her teeth and breathed sharply through her nose. "You're dead, Vinnie Terrio!" she swore, taking up an offensive stance and then running into the melee head-on.

Zoe approached the humbling red curtains with determination and grit. She was focused on nothing but performing her vocal talents for the people of Downtown City. They'll all be watching; she knew her owners would be out there, and Blythe, too. A lot was riding on Zoe's shoulders tonight. If she managed to pull this off, then she'll be set for life. She'd live a life full of glamour and fame, money and talk shows.

All she had to do was sing.

This is it. This is the moment Zoe Trent has been waiting for.


End file.
